The J+M

Joey and I knew each other way back 2008. We went to the same church but only got to know personally during a youth camp. After the camp, we met again here in UAE last 2015.

Our relationship isn’t perfect. My struggle to give up is because I’m tired of relationships. I’m tired of working it out. Or maybe I am fearful that this isn’t the right one. But I am reminded there is no fear in love, for perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). The day I said yes to Joey was also the day I have to be selfless.

On the last day of prayer and fasting (January 13) when Joey told me we will go to our “dating” place. I told him, “I’m hungry and sleepy. I want to go home” but he insisted that we should try going at a different hour since we always went there at night (Abu Dhabi’s night skyline is perfect and serene).

There were unusual actions but I have to ignore since who am I to assume. He started to reminisce our moments in the place — where I shared my life while I was unemployed, where we started dating, where we fought and where he… PROPOSED!

Of course the topic of getting married isn’t undisclosed to us but the feeling is different when he went down on his knees. Unlike other ladies or in movies, I always prefer being private (someone even critized why the proposal isn’t melodramatic -_-). Just the way I like it and how the weather, the cool breeze and seagulls enjoying the water — perfect. No pretensions. Not for social media trending post. More not for a show.

A real man will show his intentions with no pretensions. Clear and guided. I’d say, a godly man is also equipped with wisdom and fear to the Lord. He knew it was the day when the Lord gave him a word in Joshua 3:5. More than the financial capability is his love for me stood out (Proverbs 19:22).

Indescribable.

Grace. 

 

 

Before the day ended, the Lord spoke to me and I was crying (tears of joy). I was reminded how I compromised and played God in the past. But God restored everything. Double portion (Isaiah 61:17). A promise that seems impossible while I was still in the pit. I looked back how everything was meant for good (Genesis 50:20). We cannot change the past and end up regretting if only we saved ourselves (Jeremiah 31:19). However, He is also a God who remembers our sins no more (Isaiah 43:25) and forgives the iniquities of our youth (Isaiah 54:4). No tear was wasted (Psalm 56:8) for He knows everything what we had been through.

I know the time is coming when God revealed Isaiah 62:2-4 weeks before. At the start of 2017, He promised in Isaiah 61, the year of His favor and the eternal covenant of peace that only comes from Him (Isaiah 54).